Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Single Mom For (Almost) a Month {Try New Adventures Thursday}

From the moment my feet slide out of bed in the morning to the time when I tuck Edmund into bed after his late night feeding, I am going.

Between moving, a stomach bug, our car accident, a weekend trip to buy another vehicle, and having my husband out of town Sunday-Friday each week, this month has been intense...and I'm pretty pooped.

But I've gotten some time in with my boys. Often it's diaper-changing, ouchie-kissing, please-don't-bang-on-your-brother's-head, and mess-cleaning time--but it's time.

Helpers

Lately we like to sing at the top of our lungs. Our current favorites (read: Peter's current favorites) are He's Got The Whole World In His Hands, Cebu (from Veggie Tales, sung with passion), and Let's Go Fly A Kite. Peter plays his beloved acoustic guitar and instructs me to play his toy electric guitar, which he calls a "spatula guitar" (?).

Something I love to have for baby: a walker!! His feet don't touch yet, but wait til they do!!!
The amount of "things to do" on my plate has been overwhelming...and there's always housework. This week I decided to be more intentional about enlisting Peter's help with the chores. It's two for one: we spend time together and also get the cleaning done. It takes longer, but it's worth it. He loves to be involved.

Aproned up and ready to help mommy. I gave him the most manly apron we own, @arp03. ;)

Two other temporarily-single mom lessons I'm learning this month:

- Waking up early (even if it's only 30 minutes) makes all the difference in the world. Time to drink my coffee. To crack my Bible. To anticipate the day.

Morning. So glad it's my hubby's last week (of four) out of town!! I hear my 2 year old...#andsothedaybegins

- We need to get outside at least once during the day.

Playing with the same wooden cars his daddy played with as a boy...

And oh! If I know any single or military moms, I should take them dinner. I can think of at least 2 off the top of my head...:)

Snug as a big


Pretty much love him <3


Post-bath bunny baby <3

So thankful for my boys!! And for the fact that my sweet spouse comes home today.
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Here's to this week's adventures! Link yours up below. :)



 
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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Attitude Adjustments {Try New Adventures Thursday!}

At first I thought I'd tell you about my flower gardening escapades today. But lately, I have precious little blogging time, and I'd rather tell you a small bit of what's been on my heart.

Spending a lot of time with my boys this month....telling you all about it on the blog this morning (post currently in the works!).

My husband has an out-of-town rotation this month. For various reasons, the boys and I could not accompany him, so we're at home. Andrew comes home on the weekends. During the week, it's just me and the boys. We're almost two weeks into the rotation...and whew! What a ride.

The first Sunday Andrew left, I knew I was in for a challenge. We had just moved (translation: I couldn't find things, since half of our stuff was still in boxes). For the 1st time in a looooong time, I had broken out with eczema on my hands and it hurt to touch basically anything. Peter was sick with a case of the runs and he threw up all over the floor shortly before Andrew left.

Oh boy. Let's just say I was not very excited to see my husband drive away for the week.

Sick days

A couple mornings in to that first arduous week, Peter woke up still sick and super whiny. He didn't want anything to eat and just kept asking to watch Elmo. I set him up to watch his favorite furry friend and sat down at the kitchen table with some very strong coffee. Between the two boys, I had been up 4 times during the night. It was only just breakfast-time, and it felt like the day was already spinning out of control (a slightly dramatic point of view...yes. But that's where I was at!).

I did not want to have a good attitude. I wanted to go back to bed and not change another poopy diaper. Heck, doesn't waking up 4 times in the middle of the night and not having any reinforcements qualify a momma for a bit of self-pity?!

I told God about it in an "Ok. Here's-the-day-and-how-am-I-going-to-get-through-it" manner.

Almost right away, He reminded me that He had given me the day exactly as it was. The sick little boy. The sleep-deprived brain function. The out-of-town husband. The body fluids. 

And if this is what He had given me, then He would provide the get 'er done (with a good attitude) ability.

We know that, right? How many times have you heard that if God gives you something difficult, He will give you the strength to handle it?

But PJ-clad with unwashed face and Elmo too-cheerful in the background, it rooted in my heart. And my day changed from: me, bemoaning the loss of my preferred day, to God, showing me His greatness in the present situation.

That's not to say that I've had the perfect perspective ever since that moment. Last night I went to bed grumpy and wanting to cry after finally getting both boys to bed shortly before 10 pm. But I'm wanting to remember. This is what God has given me today. It's not a dire situation (and I can think of plenty worse), but it's too big for me to handle.

God, however, is gloriously strong to meet the challenge.
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This motherhood gig is schooling me, ya'll! Link up your adventures below. I look forward to reading about them. :) Don't forget to link back to Alicia's Homemaking, and it's always cool to leave some encouraging comments on other people's posts. Our twitter hashtag is #TryNewAdventures.


 
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Monday, February 20, 2012

10 Tips for Transitioning from One to Two Children

We're almost at the two month mark. Two months of having a second sweet little boy. Two months of never sleeping more than 5 hours at a time (on a good night). Two months of "Sorry I'm crying honey. I'm not mad...just hormonal!" Two months of "Is that seriously the last diaper? We just bought diapers!"

To date, they've been the best, fastest-flying, most sleep deprived months of my life. The best.

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I don't think there's any way to make a seamless adjustment from one to two children. The shift in your family dynamic + limited sleep + hormones + healing time + more little ones with needs...it all equals a stretching, challenging time. It's healthy and good and knocks the wind out of prideful perfectionism.

With that said, there are a few things that have made the transition smoother for us.

10 Tips For The One to Two Child Transition:

Pre-Birth:

1) Get organized. This is an obvious one. Put that nesting urge to use! Things get twice as messy (or is it really more exponential?) when you add another kid to the mix, so it's helpful if you know where to find stuff. For me, this included organizing my toddler's room, purging toys, washing and organizing baby clothes, organizing the bathroom cabinets, organizing the kitchen cabinets. I put a basket with wipes/diapers/burp cloths in our room (where the baby would sleep) and the living room. We live in a very small home and babies typically involve more stuff, so I made room where I could.

I am so nesty tonight!!!

2) Make a hospital packing list. People always ask, "Is your bag packed?" The question strikes me as funny, since half the stuff you need to pack in your hospital bag can't be packed until the last minute (camera, toiletries, etc). This time around I made 4 packing lists for my hospital birth. One for:
     - Labor
     - Post-Labor
     - My husband
     - Our toddler, for when he would be with a babysitter/grandparent

The hospital packing lists ended up being invaluable when I had to have an unexpected C-section! We had a very short time to go home, pack our bags, drop Squishy off with friends, and get back to the hospital so that they could try to turn our baby. We were rushed and in a very new-to-us situation (i.e. I couldn't think straight) and the packing list was so helpful.

3) Stock the freezer with meals. It's hard to do a ton of cooking when you're 8-9 months pregnant, but WOW, it pays off. Between meals brought to us from church family and the meals I had prepped in the freezer, we were able to go three weeks without having to cook. It was awesome.

4) Prepare some fun activities/toys to have on hand for your older child. Pinterest is a wealth of ideas for busy bags. Some parents will buy a special toy or two for their toddler/older child to play with after the baby was born. For us, this was super easy since Baby E.'s birth fell right after Squishy's birthday and Christmas.

After the baby's birth:

5) Sleep. Sleep when both kids are sleeping. If someone offers to watch your toddler so you can sleep, take them up on it. Sleeping when you can (especially in those first 6 weeks) is so important! I always get these bursts of adrenaline in the first couple weeks after I have a baby and I am so tempted to "get stuff done" when the baby is asleep. But I have found that life is saner for everyone if I get as much rest as possible.

6) Think about a schedule that will work for you. With a newborn, no schedule is set in stone. But so far I've found that my babies fall pretty easily into a routine, and that routine can be tweaked to work around the rest of the family. I set the baby's morning wake-up time based on what will work best with the family's schedule. This is what our routine roughly looks like now.

7) Be intentional about spending 1:1 time with your firstborn. 


8) Memorize Scripture. This has been so wonderful to me! I've been trying to memorize one verse/passage per week. When I've missed having set-aside time with God, I can roll these verses around in my head as I was dishes or change diapers or play outside with Squishy. It's been refreshing and grounding when I've been tired, hurting, or hormonal (or all three).

9) Invest in a few convenience items. We bought paper plates for the 1st couple of weeks!

10) Adjust expectations and accept help. You can prepare for everything thoroughly and do all the "right" things, but if you're banking on your own know-how then your heart's in the wrong place. Have an attitude of dependence on God. Live that out practically by accepting help from other people.

And remember to adjust your expectations. There's a new "normal" now! It doesn't mean your house has to be a permanent pig-sty. It does mean that there will be more work and  less unoccupied moments.

(but don't worry...there will also be more FUN!)

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At 2 months in, these are a few actions that have helped us along the way. I'm still brand new to mothering two little ones! Tell me, mamas, what has helped your family when adjusting to a new baby?



P.S. Tip #11: Have your mother quit her job and come live next door. (Haha, just kidding. But it would be nice.)

Linked to Top Ten Tuesday and Works For Me Wednesday.
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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Daily Life With a Toddler and A Newborn {Try New Adventures Thursday!}

"No, you can't put Kix in the baby's mouth, buddy." {Me to Squishy}

"What's dat cawd, mommy? What's dat cawd?" {Squishy to me 20x/day. He wants to know what EVERYTHING is called.}

"Ac-toolly..." {Squishy's new favorite word. I guess I say "actually" quite a bit}
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Always on a mission, this boy

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My best adventure these days is adjusting to life with my two boys. I'm yearning to savor this time...which is sometimes challenging since each day goes by at warp speed in a blur of changing diapers and filling tummies.

The general flow of our weekday goes something like this....

General Weekday Schedule
7 or 7:30 am: Wake up, feed baby, quiet time.
7:30-8:30: Toddler wakes, toddler and Alicia’s breakfast. Both boys dressed.
8:30ish: Baby’s early morning nap. Try to clean the kitchen. End up reading to Squishy.
9: Alicia’s shower, toddler’s room-time (during "room time" I put the gate up in Squishy's open doorway and he plays in his room with his toys and books. His room is kid-proof and I can hear him from the bathroom. This is a really nice break for both of us!)
9:30-10:15: Minimum maintenance, fix hair/make-up.
10:15 or 10:30: Feed baby, Sesame Street for toddler.
11 ish: Prepare and eat lunch
11:30: Baby’s late morning nap. Clean kitchen. Mommy time with toddler.
12:30 pm: Clean up toddler’s room, put him down to nap.
1 or 1:30: Feed baby. Daily chores.
2 or 2:30: Baby’s early afternoon nap, Alicia’s personal time/dinner prep/nap or exercise.
Between 3:30 and 4:30: Everyone up from naps, snack time, feed baby, keep working on dinner.
5 or 5:30: Baby’s evening nap.
5:30-6: Dinnertime.
7-7:30: Baby’s pre-bedtime feeding, afterwards get toddler ready for bed.
8: Toddler’s bedtime.
8-8:30: Baby’s bedtime. Alicia gets ready for bed (ideally, haha)
9:30-10: Baby’s dreamfeed.
10:30: Alicia’s Bedtime. (it's been more like 11 pm lately)
1 am ish: Feed baby.
4 am ish: Feed baby. {sometimes he drops one feeding and only wakes up around 3 am!}
7 am: Start over. 

Of course, this is just the basic idea. If the baby is having a growth spurt, there are more frequent feedings (mind boggling, I know). Sometimes we'll go for a walk and the baby will just cat nap. Then there are days when we have to run errands or we get out of the house to visit friends...on those days precious little housework gets accomplished. But that's just how it is right now. 

My little boy in blue. There's plenty of blue in my house (so I'm representing with some pink!) #febphotoaday  Day 13


Honestly, getting a quiet time has been rare because I fall asleep so easily during the baby's 1st morning feeding. And minimum maintenance has even been a stretch. I mostly go from the most urgent cleaning task to the next...and many times that does not include a 5 minute pick-up of the bathroom! 

With that said, our days really are pleasant. I've been turning music on in the morning and singing with Squishy. We read books. Kiss the baby. I don't really mind it when a cute little outfit gets baby fluids on it, because then we can admire his cuddly-ness in the next soft number.  

Each day is a reminder of my dependence on God...and a tangible lesson in putting others before myself (and having a good attitude about it!). 

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What's your latest everyday sort of adventure?  


 (Link up any kind of adventure below! The idea is simple: Link up your blog post, link back to Alicia's Homemaking, and then leave a couple of fun comments on the other participant's posts! Our twitter hashtag {'cause we're cool like that...} is #TryNewAdventures.)







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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Good Ol' Days {A Guest Post!}

I'm pleased to have my childhood friend and fellow blogger Jodi guest posting today! Here's a little glimpse into her life and heart...
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I'm really excited to be guest posting here for Alicia and so honored that she would even ask. Alicia, congratulations to you and your adorable family! You're such a superwoman and if I could rally a parade and bestow a crown and cape upon you, I would. So consider yourself virtually crowned and caped. :)
I'm Jodi and I blog over at Life and Oh-La-Dee-Dah. Like Alicia, I'm a mother of two boys. Judah is four and Jacob just turned three. Three years old, already!  It's cliche to say, but wow! Time really does fly. In order to keep time from passing too quickly and leaving me with unopened moments, I remind myself periodically that these are the good ol' days. You know, the days that in a year from now, I'll look back and think "Remember when..." and my husband and I will get all misty-eyed sentimental and let our hearts yearn for one more moment with the boys when they were oh-so-tiny. If you think about it, each moment will one day become part of the good ol' days, right? So, I'm determined to keep that in mind, especially when these two little guys of mine are creating messes and running dizzy circles around me. :) It's not easy, but with enough coffee...
Our family dynamic is slightly different than the average family because Judah has special needs, but there are three things, give or take, that I think are universal to raising boys, special needs or typically developing. Feed them well, give them dirt to play in and always have a cabinet stocked with disinfectant. I'm smirking just a little, but there's some truth in that, right?
Whether we're raising sons or daughters, I think one of the biggest challenges of parenthood lies in the balancing act of being organized, but also being willing to let unplanned and imperfect moments join us on the journey. Almost every seasoned mother I've talked with has told me that they never regretted leaving the laundry undone, but they do regret the moments they missed with their kids because of a to-do list. I am still learning that and still sometimes the to-do list takes priority when finger painting or bubble blowing should be the priority.
I've made a loose cluster of New Year's resolutions and the one I really want to grasp tightly to this year is exactly that. Doing better at balancing priorities, making sure I remember that these are the good ol' days. If that means a bed or two goes unmade or the dishes pile up for a bit, well I'm ok with that.
Alicia you truly are an amazing woman. I love getting to read your blog and peek into your life as a wife and mother. You have a sweet heart for your family and it shows.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Top 10 In My First Year of Motherhood

My sweet boy turns one tomorrow. One! It's caused me to reflect on the past year--my first year as a mom. It is truly a precious privilege, and one I do not take lightly.


Top 10 In My First Year of Motherhood:
(Prepare yourself for lots of pictures!)

1. The first meeting. Intense relief, intense joy.

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2. The first real smiles. My mommy heart wanted to burst.


3. 9,482,037,651 kisses. Um, yeah. I have kissed this kid an unreal amount of times.

4. Watching my husband become a dad. Wow. I love my tender-hearted man.


5. Seeing our parents become grandparents. They are seriously in love and it's pretty cute. With two sisters getting married in the spring, maybe more grandchildren will be on the way in the near future! My parents will be sure to give their fair share of encouragement, in the form of, "So, when can we expect to be grandparents again?" every time you see them. Every few minutes every time that you see them, that is. ;)


7. The delight of a sleeping baby. First of all, they're sleeping (as in, it's quiet...and you can sleep. Or eat. Or pee.), and second, it's the most adorable thing in the world.


8. Watching your child play. Squish entertains himself quite well, but is always on the look out for a new discovery. Which is making things more challenging lately.


9. I love how having a baby in the house makes everything turn into a song. Everything. You sing about toes, carseats, washing dishes, getting dressed, eating, you name it. If your baby has a cold, you sing about the nose-sucker-thingy.

10. An inside peek into God's father-heart. How He has our best in mind, even when it requires loss/discipline (i.e. "No, Squishy, you can't chew on the electrical cord!"). How He loves us just for us. No performance necessary.




P.S. Did I mention cuddling? 'Cause I live for the cuddles.

Linked to Top Ten Tuesday. :)
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mushy Brains and Birthing Babies

Today I'm excited to direct you to two of my favorite blogs--Amy's Finer Things and A Wife Loved Like The Church--where I'm guest posting on both!

At A Wife Loved Like The Church I'm sharing on the topic of SAHM Mushy Brain Prevention. We've all been there. I heart Sarah's blog--she's a kindred spirit!

Amy's Finer Things is one of the very first blogs I began reading regularly and so I'm super thrilled to be posting there. And what's even better is that I wrote that post along with one of my best friends, Audrey! Together we're talking about who you invite into the delivery room when you're having a baby...

To readers from Sarah's and Amy's blogs: Welcome! I hope you find yourself right at home here. :)


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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A "Normal" Day For A Homeschooling Mom of Six

This is the last installment of my interview with my mother! If you missed the first two posts, check out Part 1 and Part 2. This week, she's sharing the general outline of a daily schedule that works for her as a homeschooling mom.
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Mom with her 1st two kids--My little sis and I!

Me: What does a typical weekday look like for you...or what has it looked like in the past? Can you give us a picture of your day as you took care of a big family and homeschooled all your children?

Mom: The typical weekday for me is always subject to unexpected changes! Changes or interruptions may be due to appointments, errands, sickness, disciplining children, important conversations that can’t wait, extra curricular activities (like gymnastics), and so on. As you know, these are in addition to the necessary grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry that must be done. Nevertheless, my goal is to rise early in the morning before the rest of the family. This allows me some quiet time with God and His word before I am bombarded with the needs of the day.
When my children were just toddlers, it was uncanny how one of them would happen to rise earlier than usual and attempt to interrupt this quiet time. You’d think they had a built-in alarm system waking them when I stepped out of bed! Battling my frustration, I’d send them back to bed, if possible, until it was time for them to get up. When children are older (even before they can tell time), placing a clock in their bedroom and showing them where the hands on the clock must be before they can get up can be helpful. I used this method particularly at nap times.

When I began to homeschool Alicia and her younger siblings in the elementary grades, I had a schedule that I hoped to follow. Every school time was a challenge when I needed to regularly nurse an infant or give one-on-one help to a child. This was more practice in multitasking, as I helped solve math problems or listened to someone read while nursing the baby. I would have to be reminded, usually by my supportive husband, that if I didn’t cover ANY academics that day, it was still a productive day because I was with them and training them in many other ways.

Also, the daily schedule changes as your family changes, so I’m giving you the schedule that has worked best for me, in general, over the past 20 years.

As my children were capable, once they had dressed, had put their bedrooms in order, and had eaten breakfast, they would begin their day, around 8:30 a.m., with personal Bible reading and prayer. We would meet together at 9 for Bible lesson and prayer. I have found this to be the most vital part of our day. Discussion of God’s word and prayer set the tone for the day, and often lessons taught during that time could be referred to during the week and applied to situations that would arise.

After breakfast, they would begin with their individual math lessons. First I would get the older children started on their lessons, then I would begin working with the youngest school-aged child. The toddlers would be distracted and busy with “special” toys (those that only came out during school time). Math was usually the hardest and most time-consuming subject for my children, so we would tackle it first. Once they completed their math lesson, they could move on to other subjects.

Directly after lunch and a short break, I would typically read aloud to them. This was a very pleasant time for us all; sometimes we would read outdoors while lounging on the trampoline. This provided a special connection with my children; we still have some inside jokes or sayings from books we enjoyed together. Often, these books provided further reinforcement of Biblical concepts through our discussion of the stories and their characters.

After our reading time, would be glorious naptime or quiet time. My children generally took naps until they were 5 or 6 years of age, even if it meant lying down on their beds with books to read, look at or listen to on tapes. This was a very much-needed quiet time for everyone.

Now, early afternoon is when my children, ages 11 and 13, accomplish their daily chores and music practice, followed by the completion of other school subjects. I mainly focus on the “3-R’s,” Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic. If they can do these 3 subjects well, they will have the tools to study anything. Much of their reading and writing covers what we are studying in the other remaining subjects: history, health, science, and geography. Whatever they have to research, read and write about seems to stick in their heads better than anything I just tell them.

When my children were younger, playtime was important learning time too. Their late afternoons were filled with imaginary games played mostly outdoors like building “houses” or pretending to be pregnant moms with pillows under their shirts. They would play-act many of the stories we were reading together. By the way, much of this was possible because they weren’t watching too much television. Many of the years of our marriage we chose not to watch any television. Our lives have been much richer for it. Our children exercise their imaginations; we all read more and get more done.

Evenings are when I attempt to have time for my husband, for others and for myself. This was harder when my children were younger. If I allowed it to, the work of taking care of the family and the house could easily keep me busy right up to bedtime. Now, more than ever, I have time to play the guitar, exercise and/or read in the evenings. My children’s participation in household duties has helped immensely. As soon as they were capable, they were folding laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting and so on. It was an effort to train them and to maintain quality work and good attitudes, but it has been well worth it. I hope all my children’s spouses will be thankful!
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As a wife for 26 years, mother for 25 years, and homeschool teacher for 20 years (and counting!), Teresa is a lady whose brain you want to pick! In her spare time (you know she has oodles of it, ha!), she enjoys reading, guitar playing, song writing, and gardening. Thanks for sharing with all of us, Mom!

P.S. Andrew says to say that he is indeed thankful! ;) 


Linked to Works For Me Wednesday and How Do You Homeschool. 
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