Simple reason: I'm in my 1st trimester. Plus the fact that Squishy is cutting his canines. And my husband is in a highly stressful time-consuming grad program. Add that all together and there's quite a bottleneck effect.
Don't get me wrong--in the end, these are all good things. In December, we'll have a sweet baby. Squishy will one day chew more effectively. And Andrew will soon have the credentials behind his name that will enable him to land a good job!
But for me right now, it means the following: I cannot grow a baby, raise a toddler, and keep everything else together. I can't do it all. I shouldn't do it all. To have a peaceful home right now, I have to accept that...and give up frustration.
For this busy season, our family is making the following adjustments:
1) I'm taking a break from doing so much baking/cooking. For now, it's store-bought bread, not homemade bread. A few more "convenience items" from the grocery store. Plus some extra items to help fight nausea.
2) Which means our grocery bill may increase slightly for the next month and a half. Did I mention that I have not been the greatest couponer lately?
3) When Squishy naps, I nap.
4) Focus on the basics: everyone fed, clothed, bathed. That does not necessarily mean the kitchen is clean or the clothes are folded!
5) Work in spurts. Take advantage of energy when it magically appears. Rest/survive at other times.
6) Accept help. Friends and family have offered their services...and I know I need to take them up on it (even though a million prideful reasons for refusing pop up in my head). My father-in-law cleaned my kitchen this morning and it has been a bright spot in the day!
That's the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants plan of action around here. I'm reminding myself to be grateful and working to remember that Jesus is with me--nausea, fussy baby, messy house and all!
My question for you: Are you trying to "do it all" when maybe there's something you should give up for the sake of sanity?
I went into complete survival mode this time around. I remember doing it too, when I was pregnant with Hannah, but it seemed to be much worse this time {perhaps chasing two girls instead of one was the reason}.
ReplyDeleteCaring for the girls became about the only thing I did, and sometimes not that well. Thankfully, as I am feeling better, my energy increases, so does my "normal". Though, I do still nap/rest several days a week. ;)
Here's to the 2nd trimester coming quickly!
You ARE doing it all; you grow a child in your body! When you look back when you are old, what will matter most? A clean house or a happy home? Be happy and enjoy being pregnant (I still miss the feeling!) even though your house is a mess, you feel ill and tired. Love Amelie
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Take care of yourself, and know that I completely understand exactly what those weeks are like. I'm down to my last 8 weeks, and am again recognizing that life will go into 'survival mode' again shortly.
ReplyDeleteBut all for an excellent cause!
Paper plates are helpful too. I have no qualms about using them, especially when I get behind.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and Squishy feel better soon. In the meantime, I admire how you've adjusted your expectations to a reasonable level. I am still learning to do that!
I think that's one important thing that we, as moms, have to learn is to adjust to different seasons in our lives. It's tough, especially when we get on a schedule or routine that works for us, and then something always interrupts it!! Hang in there!! At least you know it's only a season!
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids yet, but I do nanny part-time. On the days I have Snow Monkey over, I have a hard time getting things done because he requires constant entertainment. He's an only child and is used to having constant attention *sigh*.
ReplyDeleteMight I add that I'm in the midst of reorganizing my apartment?
My husband always tells me to take it a little at a time and not to kill myself over stuff. He still loves me when the apartment is a mess, and in his opinion, it's never that messy. Of course, he grew up in a less organized household than I did...
You're doing great Alicia! You're growing a baby, and that's a wonderful thing. I'm glad that I'm not the only less-than-perfect homemaker.
Sounds like you are doing great and what a blessing that your father-in-law pitched in and cleaned your kitchen.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself mama!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart! It will pay off... :) My hubby always reminds me that not "everything" has to be done all.the.time. Take some time for a little R&R!
ReplyDeleteI think that's the thing I struggle with most "doing it all". Somehow I put the pressure on myself to be superwoman and do everything alone, forgetting that I can and should ask for help. Thank you for posting...I needed the reminder! :) Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing great! We certainly can't do it all! I've really had to let some things go recently. I work full time w/ a commute, want to spend time with husband and friends, recently recommitted to weight loss efforts including working out almost daily and my blog, am directing/planning a week long stay-over camp for 140 teenagers this summer, and we've had super busy weekends with lots of company recently. I had to realize that I could not do it all - or even all that I thought I could. I wanted to, but it's just not possible. I felt so much better when I just admitted that I couldn't do it all and also consciously decided on what things I was going to cut. Basically I did almost no cooking (ate mostly frozen dinners from Aldi) or grocery shopping, no couponing at all, and I relaxed the standards for the house and laundry. Sometimes you really do need to do that.
ReplyDeleteWe have to adjust! Just yesterday, I looked at my husband and told him I felt like the worst wife from all the piles of papers that were on our floor and the dishes that waited in the kitchen. He told me to leave them. His kindness reminded me I'm often harder on myself than anyone else. I'm proud of you for adjusting in this season of life!
ReplyDeleteOh do I know how you feel! I am in my second trimester...and although my little girl is 6 and at school most of the day...I have a hubby that works rotating shift work and an elderly Grandpa that lives with us! So I am doing just what you are...and using those spurts of energy to get things done and I just don't stress myself over the small stuff! We will get back to being Super Mom's!!!
ReplyDeleteOh I remember the days. I would do the laundry and leave it in the basket. We could pull out what we needed as we went. At least we had clean clothes. The dishes got cleaned, but maybe not put up. At least they were clean. There comes a point where you just do "good enough" and that is ok. I just recently stopped folding wash cloths. I throw them in a basket by the tub and say, "it's good enough." Maybe one day, in a different season, I'll roll them nice and neat like I like them. ;-) But for now, cuddling with a sweet baby boy is much more fun! Hope you get to feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteYou're a super mom now because of your attitude and commitment to get back in there when and how you can.
ReplyDeleteI too struggle with getting it all done and an important discussion in our house occurred recently. My husband came home and wanted a hug, but I couldn't be bothered to stop my cleaning task and oblige. So, we had a discussion about his expectations. He doesn't care if he comes home to a bit of a mess but he wants me to be able to relax and talk with him. So, in my houes I have started to focus on my attitude before he arrives home not trying to get it all done and then be in a frenzy and not able to greet or catch up with him.
I hope you feel better soon and can get back to your normal schedule/routines. Until then here's to the basics.
I'm expecting another baby in the summer. For right now I am able to keep up, but soon enough I think I will get some help from a cleaning service. That will make life easier :)
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